“It is time for you to come out of the shadow.” That is what I sensed God saying to me during a retreat back in June. When I heard it in my spirit, I began to cry because being in the shadow is so foreign to me. My nature is much more comfortable standing in the spotlight than behind the scenes.
So much so that the overachiever in me used to tell co-workers that “we could shine together or I would shine by myself, but either way I would shine.” Bold words, I know—maybe even a little arrogant. What can I say? I was young. Thankfully, God didn’t fail me.
It is no wonder then that the foundational Scripture for my life is Matthew 5:14-16 (NKJV):
“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”
If being the light or being in the Light is so Dawn, then why was God telling me to come out of the shadow? Because that is where I was after Reggie died. There was no doubt in my mind that is where I was because I lost my passion—for just about everything. Oh, I still did things, but as I said in an earlier post, I did them out of obedience, not passion or joy. As B.B. King would say, “the thrill was gone.”
In the months following Reggie’s passing, I remember telling people, “I didn’t know it could get this dark after having been in the Light.” The light of Jesus was so bright in my life before Reggie’s passing that it was inconceivable that it could get that dark, but it did. What I hadn’t realized until the retreat was that it was dark because I was in the shadow.
Once I thought about it though, it wasn’t all that surprising. In fact, it made perfect sense. Psalm 23:4 says, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me” (NKJV – emphasis mine). I was in the “shadow of [Reggie’s] death”. Truth be told, for a season, Reggie’s death had gotten between the Light and me, and cast a shadow over my life. However, back in June, that season came to an end.
I am also not surprised (and more than a little thankful) that God didn’t leave me in the shadow. Like the woman with an issue of blood (Luke 8:43-48), now that I am healed, God is calling on me to step out and share my story.
So, here I am writing about my journey—where I have been, where I am, and where I am going. Yes, where I am going… I am headed somewhere and writing a new ending to my story in the process. My marriage to Reggie and becoming a widow are both just chapters in my story, but there are more chapters for me to write.
I am not exactly sure where I will wind up, but I know I don’t want to stay at the edge of the shadow, on the fringe between Light and Dark. No, I want to return to the center of the Light. Where I belong. Care to join me?
Question: Where are you on your journey? Are you standing in the shadow of a life-changing event? (Don’t give up! There is Light at the end of the tunnel.) Are you coming out? Or are you, as Olivia Pope (a guilty pleasure I admit) would say, standing in the sun? What happened for you to get where you are? Please respond by clicking on the Comment, Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest buttons below.